When Love Doesn’t Meet Your Expectations

I have come to understand that the Universe is full of love. But it took decades to come to this realization.  Growing up in a dysfunctional family the truth about love and abundance was obscured.  Now I see that love is abundant – without limits.  I don’t have to do anything except be in the present moment to receive the love all around me.  If I am surrounded by busi-ness and distraction it makes it harder for me to feel love.  Love isn’t ever not there, it’s simply me that sometimes isn’t able to access it.  Love is after all our essence as Spiritual beings created by Divine Spirit.

Yesterday I experienced a familiar feeling of lack of love.  For many years, I’ve wanted to feel loved by my sister. I’ve have the expectation of having a close relationship with her.  I wanted us to share time with each other and grow through life together.  Coming from a dysfunctional family, that’s simply not how our relationship has manifested.  I wanted my sister to fit my expectations and give me what I thought I needed. But she hasn’t.  And sometimes that doesn’t feel okay to me. 

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself for not being acknowledged by her.  Yesterday was one of those days when I felt, what’s wrong with me?  What did I do to her to make her dislike me so much?  What can I do to “make” her love me?  Those thoughts led to, “I’m not okay because I don’t have the type of relationship with my sister that I wanted.”  And then I felt anger and frustration.

I stewed for a couple hours.  I retired for the day and crawled into my warm soft bed with my two Westies, Lucky and Gracie.  Lucky gives affection on his terms so I’m delighted whenever he doles out kisses or lays close to me.  Last night, he curled up in my lap and stayed there.  It was a delightful surprise. 

Then I “woke up”  and became present.  Here I was, surrounded by love from my dogs and my partner. What was I lacking?  I was lacking nothing.  Yet, if I had remained in my negative feelings and didn’t become present I could have missed this experience.  

The message for me is don’t look at what form love comes in. 

Look at the presence of love in your life.  It is abundant.  Realize that getting love from a friend, pet, or a stranger is no different from feeling love from a spouse or child. Love doesn’t come in degrees. We sometimes discount the love that’s surrounding us if we’re not receiving the love from that “special” person. 

When you feel disappointed in not getting what you expect from a person, the way to get out of that feeling is to see that it’s your Ego voice telling you that you need a certain person’s love to be okay.  It’s not true.  The truth is that love is always available – sometimes in surprise packages. 

“Be Still and Know”  can also mean “Be Still and Know that Love Is.”

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